the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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