you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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