Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
