come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
