I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
third nipple confirmed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
