Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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