he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
