is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
