if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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