This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
