I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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