Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
