I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
