He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
