and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
