I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
