my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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