I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
