apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
