she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
