Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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