I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
