woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
operation harelip BJ is a go
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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