he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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