fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
