Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
