btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
