So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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