I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im holly from the hills drunk
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
