The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
