The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
