i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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