I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
