yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
