its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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