he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
