I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
