Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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