Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
