Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
