Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
