Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
