That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
