You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
