I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
