she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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