everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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