You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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