I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All the doctor said was why
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
