theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont even know how to be here
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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