Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Shame is for Republicans.
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